2015 in review

Posted: January 10, 2016 in Uncategorized

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

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That crushing feeling in your heart that you wish you could just get rid of. Yeah! I’m writing about that now.

Note: It’s not a fiction or such. Just a few disorganised thoughts, well, in an attempt to be organised.

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You are living an excellent life. You have everything you want, amazing friends, a satisfying career, a fulfilling hobby, a driving passion, you name it! You love yourself way too much. So much, that you wouldn’t want to consider even the idea of loving someone else.

Days are going happily. You couldn’t wish for more. Now, enters “that person”. They come in your life as a breath of fresh air. No matter how good your life already is, they make it look somehow better. But initially, you don’t give them much thought. So far, so good.

Eventually, they become a big part of your life. They make you feel special. They make you feel happier. You think about them. The thought of them makes you smile at unexpected times. You fall in love with the idea of that person.

No matter how many people you meet along the way, nobody seems to be like them. No matter who asks you out, who tells you ‘I love you’, you don’t care, because your heart belongs to them. Well, at least, in your mind, it does! Someone rightly said, “Devil doesn’t come with red horns and a pointy tail, he comes as everything you have ever wished for.”

If you’re a girl, you think and think and then overthink. If you are a guy, I suppose, you too think somewhat.

You get into a relationship with them, eventually, or you don’t. That isn’t actually relevant, because the thing about happy times is that, they just pass. But one day you feel like they are pulling away. They don’t seem excited about conversing with you or meeting you any more. You dismiss that thought. You try to give excuses for them to yourself. “They are busy.”, you think, but eventually, you get to your senses and realise its just a matter of priority. You talk to them about it and for sure, you’re not one of their priorities.

Then comes the much dreaded hurt. “What went wrong?”, you ask yourself, but you never find the answer. “Is it my face?”, “Is it the dress I wore that day?”, “Is it how I speak”, “Is it all of me?” and what not will you think. They are just not that into you, you realise at one point. You become unable to understand anything else and end up more confused than ever. “Why were they interested initially, but pulled away when you took an interest?” Who knows? I don’t.

Did you get played? Well, I really don’t have an answer to that. It wasn’t their fault, neither was it yours. But one thing I could tell you, is, that you don’t love yourself as much as you did earlier. You will look for imperfections in yourself. They have left a hollow in your heart, that won’t be able to heal soon. Every moment spent with them will feel precious. You would want to turn back time and correct your mistakes. But there were no mistakes to start with.

It gets better. It really does. Live one day at a time. One day, you will wake up and realise you are over them. If not, you will learn to live with the wound. You will fall in love with yourself again, but will you with anyone else? I doubt that. Maybe you will, maybe not.

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I was writing this only for boys, but as I wrote, I realised these are applicable on boys, as well as girls, too. So this time I’m going to discuss in general, that is, for girls and boys, both.

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1. I want to be in a relationship with SOMEONE
Okay! So obviously, there is nothing wrong with letting the one you know you like that you’re are out there & ready to date. But if you don’t exclusively want that someone to be with them, then why should they bother?

2. I Hate Being Single
I find it the most terrifying when someone says this to me. It seems as if you would date anyone just for the sake of being in a relationship & its not attractive.

3. I want you to complete me
What? Are you incomplete? From where? It looks as if you’re unhappy with yourself & you need someone to make you feel good about yourself.
You must have read this text “The gap between my fingers were created, so yours could fill it.”. Uhh, no! It was created so you could lift things, with better grip. So refrain from such texts, will you?

4. My ex was entirely at fault for everything
I agree your ex was a horrible person, but are you sure he/ she was the only one who made mistake? I get it that you are trying to look good in front of the one you like, but, it gives a vibe that you’ll blame them for everything if you don’t end up together.

5. I can’t think of living without you
As romantic as it sounds, if that person isn’t that much into you, it will give him/ her the ‘Level 5 Clinger’ alert. Try not to be creepy.

6. If you don’t like me back, I’ve many other options
Seriously? That’s your pick up line? Then surely, he/ she wouldn’t mind you going back to your other options. Don’t make them feel like they mean nothing to you.

7. Sexting
Okay! I admit, this one is meant mainly for boys. Unless she expressly states her interest in you, be it a crush or anything, or she sexts you first, just don’t! It might gross her out.

8. I hate myself
Then why should I like you?

That’s all for now.
XO,
Vani.

Its been a while since my last post. I have earlier posted ’10 Biggest Turn Offs For Girls’, its time to discuss things that turn us on.

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1. Sense of Humour
I can’t put enough stress on it. It is like the magic pill. The guy having an amazing sense of humour doesn’t need any other quality to impress a girl (to develop it into a relationship is a different thing). By sense of humour, I don’t at all mean those corny jokes, just keep it in mind. Sometimes we laugh on those just for the sake of being nice.

2. Happy-go-Lucky Attitude
A guy who is carefree, has a positive outlook towards life is like a magnet, not only he attracts girls, but people in general. However, the guy who says “I am very happy with my life” after every 5 minutes isn’t the magnet. It just shows.

3. Caring Nature
The guy who genuinely cares about the girl, along with other people in his life is a total turn on for her.

4. The ‘Perfect Availability’
What do I mean by this? Well, the guy who is available 24X7 365 days instantly loses all attractiveness no matter how good looking he is. Also, the guy who disappears the face of earth for 10 days & comes back saying ‘Hey girl’ isn’t attractive too. It’s the perfect balance. Now I can’t exactly tell you what it is, as it varies from girl to girl.

5. Height
I know I know. This is completely superficial, but girls drool over tall guys. No matter how short we are, we get easily attracted towards boys having a good height.

6. Genuine Interest
If you are genuinely interested in her life, her friends or family, just anything she has to talk about, she’ll be impressed beyond words. You’ll have her.

7. Jealousy
Stupid? Maybe. But we girls love it when a guy gets a jealous, not in a threatening way, like “Cut off all your ties with that friend immediately, else with me.”, just a little jealous. Although, this one is meant if she is already a little bit interested in you, else you’ll come off as creepy.

8. Being Understanding
Sometimes, we get irritated without any reason. Sometimes, we cry over nothing. Sometimes, we behave irrationally. That’s how girls are born. We can’t help it. The guy who understands her in those days to, is a big turn on. However, if she always behaves like this, brother, you better run for the hills.

9. Chivalry
So you have already scored a date with her & now you’re behaving like she is one of the dudes. Sorry, but this will not score you any points. Being chivalrous is old fashioned, but it works on 99% of the girls.

10. The One Who Starts Most of the Conversations
Girls don’t have a problem with starting a conversation if she doesn’t think of you as more than a friend, but in caseyou are even a little more than a friend to her, she will consider before texting/ calling you first. (Don’t take it as a sign, as sometimes the reason is she is plain bored of you.). If she likes you or has s crush on you, then being a girl, she is bound to feel that she is disturbing/ irritating you. So, if you start the conversations, she is definitely to be impressed.

Just a quick note, if you have only few or none of the above qualities, but she still likes you, means she likes you as you are. You don’t need to change yourself at all for her to like you more.

XO,
Vani.

When I posted ’15 Signs That Show She Likes You’ last week, a friend said “That’s OK, but what if we don’t meet, rather just text/ chat online? How would I know?”. So I thought of posting this one.
Once again, this is not 100% accurate, but at least you can get a hint.

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1. The Emoticons
She would use a lot of smiley faces. Now, girls always use more emoticons than boys, while chatting with anyone, if she likes you, she would use lots of wink face, heart-eyed face, flirty kiss face & the red angry face (yeah right, the angry one, that’s not a typo!)

2. The “I have something to say”
If she has sent a similar text to you at least 3-4 times, that’s a sure sign she likes you. When you ask her to say it, her replies would usually go like “Oh, nothing.”, “Never mind.”, “But you won’t understand.” etc.

3. The “Heyy..”
Girls usually start the conversation with a “Hey” with everybody, but she will use extra y’s while texting the guy she likes.

4. The ‘love/ crush’ Forwards
When she mostly forwards you texts/ images/ videos which can be categorised as romantic, she likes you (or maybe she considers you her best friend, for that matter).

5. The Initial Text
She might initiate most of your conversations, or, if she doesn’t, when you text first, she’d text back something like “I was thinking of u just now”or “I was waiting for your text”.

6. The “only if you were here….”
She might try to play with your imagination. She’d send incomplete texts likes “watching this movie, only if u were here to watch it with me, we could …” or “in my blanket, wish u were …”. She won’t complete those sentences even if you ask her to.

7. The Length
She’d never send u a ‘k’ or ‘ttyl’ or ‘brb’ if she is interested. The only exception is when you’ve been busy & haven’t texted her in a while, she might be angry & send one word replies.

8. The Interest
If she likes you, she would take an interest in whatever you have to say. Pay close attention & see if she is actually interested.

9. The Time
See the amount of time she takes to reply to your texts. If she is texting/ chatting with others, but still replying to your texts pretty fast, she is very much interested in you.

10. The Out of a Sudden Texts
If she texts you ‘”I Miss You” or “You are very cute” out of the context, i.e., when you both are texting about something else, she likes you very much.

11. The Text Games
If she asks you to play ’21 Questions’ or ‘Truth or Dare’ or any other game involving questions, over text, she definitely has a crush on you.

12. The Reminder
She’d tell you that a particular celebrity or some stranger she saw today reminded her of you. This is not a big sign, but girls usually say this, when they are interested.

Check out for any 4-5 signs that match & you could be certain that she is crushing over you.
That’d be all for today.
XO,
Vani.

This post is not 100% scarily accurate, because every girl is different & so are the signs, but I am posting some general things that almost every girl who likes you will do.

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1. Her Pupils Dilate
With whatever little research I did, this was a sure sign of her being interested. Her pupils would dilate even at the mention of your name! Although this one is a given, but you can’t look real deep into her eyes to confirm as a creep, especially if you don’t know her that well, so lets move on to the next point.

2. She would keep smiling while talking to you
As soon as you initiate a conversation, she would smile. She might keep smiling the whole time, or just in the start.

3. You will catch her staring at you
Whenever you look in her direction, you’ll find her looking at you, but she’ll immediately start looking elsewhere. Although, some girls like to hold the gaze & then smile when you look at them, but mostly they’d look away.

4. She’d giggle too much
If you happen to notice that she giggles too much with her friends when you are around, she might be trying to catch your attention. However, some girls may find giggling childish & refrain from it, but she’ll try to catch your attention in some other way.

5. She’ll always be ready to help you
If you need something, she might actually put some extra effort in getting you that. But keep in mind, some people have a really helping nature, they’d help everyone, so don’t base everything on this point only. Look for other signs too.

6. She might touch her hair or bit her lips more than usual
The only problem is, not every girl does that.

7. She’d flirt
Girls usually flirt/ flirt back only if they are interested in you, even a slight bit. Although, if she is a very social girl, she might flirt back without being interested too.

8. She might get angry if you are busy
This one is valid only if you’re already friends & flirt a little bit. She’ll get upset or angry if you’re busy somewhere else.

9. She’d tell you she misses you
This isn’t a sure sign always, because if she considers you a very good friend, she’d still say she misses you. But, at least you can hope.

10. She might touch you a little bit
She might pull your cheeks, hit you playfully, touch your hand while speaking. But, not all girls are comfortable with touching & some girls, who mostly have guy friends, touch in a friendly way only.

11. She wouldn’t miss any chance to meet you
She will always accept your invitation to go out. She might postpone if she really has too, but she’d never say ‘no’ to your invitation.

12. She’d laugh at your lamest jokes
If you know that even you wouldn’t laugh at the joke you just cracked, but she laughed at it anyway, as if you’re the most hilarious person she knows, she definitely likes you!

13. She’d be interested in knowing about your ex girlfriends
She might be interested in knowing about your past relationships, to know what kind of girls you like & if she is your type.

14. She’d behave sillier around you
She won’t be her usual calm composed self while around you. She’d grin like a silly person, she might respond to your questions mindlessly. If you know that she is witty around other people but behaves like a stupid person around you, be sure she likes you.

15. She’d be jealous
She’d be jealous if you talk about other girl friends, your ex girlfriends, your other crushes or any other girl.

Its not necessary that all 15 signs should match. Even if 5 6 signs are there, high chances that she likes you.
Now I could write 15 more, but maybe some other time.
XO,
Vani.

While thinking of this one, it got really close to my heart & while writing it, I, myself, started to fall in love with the protagonist, Aayush. Hope you do too. Enjoy.
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I was a graduate at that time. My Dad is a businessman & he has always wanted me to join him. I was trying to delay it till I could. After all, 21 didn’t feel like an age to get all serious. So I used to stay with a friend, Jatin, in a rented flat in another city. I had to do something so I had joined the classes for the preparation of GMAT.

I met Monali in my coaching classes. We started talking, I don’t clearly remember how, just over exchanging notes or something. I asked for her number, & she gave it to me. We started chatting on Facebook & WhatsApp all the time. Those were just friendly chats, nothing more. She used to sit next to me, so we used to pass notes even during classes & talked through the break. It never got boring, we could go on for the whole day. There never came a moment where we had to say “Say Something”. We both were really comfortable with each other.

*few months later*
The texting & chats slowly turned into late night & early morning phone calls. There were no romantic feelings at first but somehow, I started getting more & more attracted towards her. I guess, that happens if you talk so much to a person. But shy, as I was, I could never gather the courage to tell her that what I felt for her was more than friendship. It seemed that she always looked at me as a friend & didn’t want to ruin our friendship.

*a year later*
When classes got over we still kept chatting. One day, while talking over the phone, she said ” You know, I really miss being with you all the time.” So I suggested we hang out some day & she agreed immediately “Yeah, lets go for a movie tomorrow.” We discussed the details of the movie over WhatsApp later. She seemed really excited about the movie.

*the next day*
I was waiting for her at the theatre, just when I got her call. “Aayush, I’m sorry, I’m running a little late. I’ll be there in 15 minutes. You buy the tickets.” The movie was about to start in ten, so I bought the tickets. She came exactly after a 15 minutes & said “Hey! Sorry again, I kept you waiting.” When we entered the hall, it was too dark, as the movie had already started. She held my hand & said “Don’t let me fall.” We found our seats & sat. She still didn’t let go of my hand. My face felt red. She started talking about something & I could sense her excitement. After some 15-20 minutes, she finally let go off of my hand. I said nothing. While they were playing an action sequence in the movie, she turned to me & pulled my cheek, “You are just so cute, Aayush”. I had no idea what to say, I felt my face getting warm. When the movie ended & lights turned on, she looked at me with innocent eyes & said “Is there something else you want to say?” I said “Sure. Do you want some ice cream?”. She looked a little upset but then smiled said “Yeah, lets get ice creams!”

We left the theatre & went to the ice cream parlour around the corner. I ordered a chocolate sundae & she, after a lot of thinking, a vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. She was looking at me in a way she had never looked at me before. We finished our ice creams. “You got some on your nose”, she laughed & wiped it off my nose from her thumb. It felt warm against my cold nose. “Anything else?”, she asked again. “No”, I didn’t even understand what she meant by else, “What?” “Nothing, I should go home now, bye”, she said & left. I didn’t know what I did wrong. What?

I returned to my flat. My flatmate Jatin was sitting there with his girlfriend, Simi, watching TV. She looked at my face & said, “Who is the girl Aayush? You look like you have been smitten.” Before I could say anything, Jatin told her everything about Monali. Simi looked interested in knowing more, so I told her everything about the movie. She said “This girl is crazy about you! She likes you, Aayush! You should tell her.” I was hesitant, “You don’t know her Simi, it’s different with her. She might just be acting friendly & I don’t want to ruin what we already have over that. ” “You want to know if she truly likes you, try to make her jealous. If she gets jealous, she likes you for sure. I will help you.” So she told me the plan & I agreed.

*one week later*
I called Monali in the morning & asked her if she wants to go for a coffee after an hour. She agreed. Step 1 completed. I dressed & called Simi & told her to be there on time. The plan was to introduce Simi as my girlfriend & watch Monali getting jealous. The decoding of her facial expressions were to be done by Simi.

*one hour later*
Simi & I were sitting at the coffee shop when Monali arrived. I introduced Simi as my girlfriend, but Monali seemed unperturbed. She smiled & said “You jerk! Why didn’t you tell me earlier. Simi is gorgeous.”. I felt really upset at that time & Simi started laughing, “Oh, he was just joking. I’m Jatin’s girlfriend.”. Monali’s expressions didn’t alter. I didn’t pay any attention to their conversation afterwards.

After Monali left, Simi told me, “She might not be having feelings for you, but if she has, she is really good at hiding those. “. I nodded & came back.

*two weeks later*
Monali called at night & asked me to come to a mutual friend’s dance party the next night.

*the next night*
When I reached the party, Monali was already there. She was wearing a black knee length dress. I haven’t seen her look so gorgeous ever. I wanted to hug her real tight. After talking to other people, performing some random dance moves & a few drinks, I asked her for a dance. She agreed. ‘I’m Ready’ by Bryan Adams was playing at that time. I held her from her waist & she wrapped her arms around my shoulder. We slowly moved around. She was so close to me, I felt I might kiss her. I asked her, “Can I kiss you, Monali?”. She replied with, “Why? Do you love me?” & dumb as I was, I said, “No, leave it. I was just joking. Haha.” She didn’t say anything else. The night ended after a few more fast tracks.

*three days later*
I’ve been calling her since that night, but she is not picking up. What did I do?

*two days later*
We have never stopped talking for so long. There is no activity in her Facebook profile & her last seen on WhatsApp dates back to the night of the party. What’s wrong?

*the next night*
Monali called me. “Hey Aayush, guess what?”. I said “What?”. She answered, “I’m getting engaged the next week!” “What did you just say?”, I asked. “My parents fixed my marriage with one of their friend’s son. I’ll be married in three month’s time.”, she told me. “But Monali, I …….”, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. She said, “If you wanna say something Aayush, now would be the time. Do you have something…. anything to say?” I said, “No”. She asked me, “Nothing?”. I again said, “No”. She went quite for a while, the suddenly shouted, “Fine then, come next week to my engagement!” & I replied, “Yeah.”

*a week later*
It was the day of her engagement. I went to her house with Jatin & Simi. She was sitting with her fiancĂ©, the both looking all lovey dovey. Something burnt inside of me. I couldn’t stay anymore, I came back. At night, she texted “Y u went back so early?” & I replied with “Dont u ever call or text me again.” She texted back with a “K.”

*one week later*
I can’t get her out of my mind.

*one week later*
I hate her.

*one week later*
I’ve moved on.

*one month later*
Still thinking of her.

*one month later*
I still love her.
I couldn’t help myself & I called her. “Monali, just listen to me. I’m really sorry, I behaved like a jerk on the day of you engagement. Can you please meet me for lunch today, please?”, I said. “I don’t know, Aayush. I’m getting married the day after tomorrow. The ceremonies will start tonight.”, she replied. “Will you be getting out at all today, even if its only for 10 minutes?”, I asked. “Yeah, I have a salon visit scheduled in two hours.”, she told me. “Great, then spend those two hours with me.”, I said. She agreed & we decided to meet in a restaurant opposite to the salon she had to visit.

*30 minutes later*
I arrived at the restaurant. She was already there, waiting for me. We talked about her fiancĂ© for some time. Then without thinking I held her hand in mine & said “I love you.”. She looked pissed, “Why are you telling me now?”. “I never had the courage, till now. I’m sorry.”, I said. “You know, I always thought you were not interested in me. I don’t know for how long I tried to get something out of you.”, she said flatly. “Don’t marry him. Be mine?”, I requested. She got up & started leaving without saying anything. I got up too, held her from her arm & asked “Monali, do you love me?”. She seemed on the verge of tears. She said “Now there’s no point of discussing it.” & she left.

*5 minutes later*
I paid for the check & came out of the restaurant. I threw my cellphone in the garbage can outside. I went to a bar a few blocks away & got really drunk.

*five hours later*
I went to my flat, Jatin wasn’t there. I opened my laptop, deleted my Facebook profile, crashed the laptop. I packed my bags & then called my mother & told her I’d be gone for some time. I told her to ask Dad to transfer some money into my account. I called the airlines & booked a ticket for Sydney & I left.

*one year later*
I met Rachel here in Sydney. We’ve been together for past four months. I miss home sometimes, Monali at many times, but haven’t called her, Jatin, Simi, my parents or anybody.

*four years later*
Rachel & I broke up last week. It didn’t hurt much but I’m missing my mother very much. I called her & told her how sorry I was that I just vanished & never called. I invited her to Sydney & told her everything that happened in the past few years.

*two weeks later*
My doorbell rung. I went to open the door & I saw a girl standing there, “Monali?”. Monali started hitting on my chest like crazy, “You asshole, you jerk, you filthy person.”. “What? Where’s your husband? & kids? Do you have kids?”, I asked her. “I didn’t get married, you loser. I called off the wedding that very day, I had no idea you would vanish like this. You stupid, stupid guy! I called Jatin, he gave me your parent’s address. I’ve been in contact with them ever since & your mother called me & told me your address the moment you told her.”, she told me. “But.. wha.. how.. you…”, I blurted some random words. “Will you shut up & just kiss me?”, she said. I couldn’t speak. She jumped over me & hugged me. Her lips pressed against mine. She was kissing me & I was too shell shocked to kiss her back! “Huh, I didn’t realise you’re such a bad kisser. Maybe I should go back!”, she joked. “No!”, I yelled & I kissed her like I’ve never kissed before. After a few minutes she looked me in the eyes & said, “I love you.” “I love you, too”, I replied. “And for the record, I hate ice cream. So if I ever ask you whether you have something to say, say you like me, not if I want icecream.”, she said. To shut her up, I kissed her again.

Yeah! You all can bow! I got the girl!
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